The Ballad of Jimmy

Jimmy-boy, when he was born

Looked upon his mum with scorn

“The tax rate here, it isn’t great

Why’d you birth me in this state?”

Later, as a toddling mite,

His fingernails the boy would bite

And when his nail would painful rip

He’d yell, “I’M NOT THE CAUSE OF IT!”

“IF ONLY THEY JUST HADN’T GREW”

“I WOULDN’T HAVE THE URGE TO CHEW!”

Jimmy as a strapping lad

Didn’t like the shirt he had

Cause he ripped it at the hem

Jimmy raged, “IT’S CAUSE OF THEM!”

“IF THEY MADE THE FABRIC TOUGHER”

“THIS ORDEAL I WOULDN’T SUFFER!”

Jim did poorly in his school

“This can’t be! I’m smart and cool!”

“I have worked so hard and long”

“It’s the teachers who are wrong!”

The textbook, it must be said

Never had he even read.

Flunked from school, and on the streets

Still, he ordered Uber Eats

“On their wage I can’t survive,

I had 3 frappes instead of 5!”

Jimmy, let go by his boss

Grumbled “He will rue his loss.”

“It’s not my fault that I was late

I needed time to masturbate!”

Trying drugs, he popped some pills

And it made him deathly ill

Through a ghastly cough and hack

Jimmy roared, “IT’S CAUSE OF TH-ACK!”

This is how poor Jimmy died

Crippled by his sin of pride.

For Jimmy-boy, it is too late

But if you would not share his fate,

Then live this mantra to a T;

It’s never them. It’s always me.