You yell ‘WAHOO!’ and shove yourself face-first into the toilet.
It doesn’t work.
You don’t know why you thought that would be a good idea.
But it’s oddly nostalgic. It reminds you of when your bullies used to give you swirlies in the school bathrooms, which were about as grimy as this. The only difference was they also smelled like weed.
While your head is lodged firmly in the bowl, you discover something incredible. There’s a STICKY HAND TOY stuck to it! Like the kind you used to get from vending machines as a kid! It’s so freaking RETRO!
You’re so excited by this finding that you start to soy out and open your mouth. You immediately choke on the foul water.
